Forgiving myself for the hurt & mess and turmoil (understatement of the century) isn’t important.Forgiveness and reconciliation are synonymous.
There is no “silver bullet” for what I’m facing, but the more tools and resources I bring to the battle, the more likely I am to walk away with a little bit more of myself each time.To begin, let me apologize for the length of this blog. Pure Desire Ministries International can be found at As I continue to add weapons to my arsenal, I’ll be better equipped to deal with this beast that lurks in the catacombs of my soul. I’ve also purchased the workbook that goes along with it, Seven Pillars of Freedom. If you struggle with these issues and you haven’t read Pure Desire, I suggest you get it. I’m on Christmas Break, so now I have the time. I’ve reread that chapter several times in order to keep its content clearly focused in my mind until such a time that I could do the work needed. I quickly breezed through the first six chapters, and then hit Chapter 7: When Jesus Starts Becoming Lord and I had to stop because there was work to be done and I didn’t have the time immediately available to do it. Ted Roberts has become my “owners’ manual” for the dragon of my sexual addiction. When I came to my group for the first time (another tool in this war I am waging), I was given a book that has pierced me at a deeper level in its unrestrained exploration and intensive dissection of my life’s addiction. It remains a helpful and trustworthy resource for many, and I am thankful that it brings to the forefront the issues of pandemic proportions surrounding a man’s need for purity in today’s culture. It was like trying to control a tidal wave with a teaspoon.
The book was a great resource in that it confirmed I was not the only one who was experiencing these issues with my sexual behaviors, but the practical elements of behavior modification and redirecting focus did little to assist me. When I read Arterburn’s Every Man’s Battle, I found that it barely scratched the surface of what was going on inside of me.
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And like the Hollywood films of old, I have used this tomb to keep alive a cursed monster that I have nurtured and fed with each destructive choice I’ve made.īut the first crack that brings light to the darkness brings hope, and with each strike of each newly discovered tool, I can make the opening wider and let more and more healing light into my soul. It has been surrounded by solid, impenetrable walls that have taken years to build. It is a long process of lifting the heavy lid to get to the source of the pain. Then, like an archaeologist’s crowbar hitting the seam in the sarcophagus, a moment of realization… clear thinking unclouded by the rationalization and justification of your ongoing destructive choices… hits with force and the seal is broken and the decay of years spills from the crack. I truly believe that success in this battle against sexual addiction means collecting a variety of tools and resources (weapons, if you will) to help combat the unknown.Īt first, you are unaware of the issues, wounds, and hurts that drive your compulsion, they are buried deep and all you have are the symptoms, the choices and behaviors that are present on the surface.
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